There is obviously nothing wrong with being polite! However, have you ever wondered if there are signs of someone being way too polite? Or even if there IS such a thing as being too polite? Well, we’re here to let you know that there is actually such a thing and that it may happen to anyone without their even realizing it!
You may think that what you or someone else is doing is just out of trying to be considerate. But with certain habits, it can happen that people are just taking it a bit too far, and it will not end up being a sign of politeness, but rather it will be seen as a personality flaw, or people can consider you just plain rude!
Do you worry that may be the case for you? Don’t worry! We have compiled a list of the most common signs that you (or someone you know) may be crossing the line from considerate to being just plain annoying!
#1 Being a yes man or woman
Are you always the person that everyone comes to when they need a favor or help with something urgently? There isn’t anything wrong with having a desire to help your friends and family. However, there is a point where things can get too far, and this derails you from just being polite and helpful.
You can be worried that you’re going to hurt someone’s feelings, but at the same time, you cannot just agree with everything when someone comes to you for help. It is both a sign that you are too polite, but also a sign that people can be prone to taking advantage of your good heart.
It feels great when we are able to help someone, but if you keep getting bombarded with requests and people keep asking you to do things, it can eat away at your free time and even lead to exhaustion or problems in your relationship. Moreover, if you get overwhelmed by the sheer number of things you have to do, you may not end up being able to help, and it would be even more impolite than declining in the first place.
#2 Changing your opinions
Being able to see every side of an issue is a great skill, and if this sounds like you, you should be proud that you are able to be so rational. However, if you keep changing your mind in order to please everyone you’re chatting with, it’s not as polite as you might think.
It’s a great sign of friendship and politeness if you can empathize with whoever you are talking with, but if you keep agreeing with everything someone says, the effect is actually the complete opposite of what you were hoping for. People can end up considering you too indecisive and even think less of you because you seem weak and unopinionated.
There’s nothing wrong with being a bit confrontational or sharing a different opinion as long as you’re not being offensive or pushy about it.
#3 Overapologizing may be a sign too!
Another sign that you could be way more polite than normal may be the fact that you keep apologizing. It’s a basic rule that we were all taught when we were little to say “sorry” and admit fault when it was our doing, but some people may end up overdoing it. If you apologize at the wrong times, or even when it has nothing to do with it, it can end up creating awkward situations.
If someone’s overly apologetic, then it gives the wrong signal to some people; not only will some try to take advantage of them because they seem to have very low self-esteem, but others can end up thinking they are annoying. If a person keeps apologizing all the time, it can cause irritation to other people, and with children, it can lead to them being bullied.
Not to mention that it can make people think you’re afraid of them, which is not the best impression to leave with someone.
#4 Everything you describe is amazing and always a superlative
You may want to be nice and compliment people when you say something tastes “amazing” or that they look “fabulous.” But when everything you are complimenting ends up being fantastic, you cross the polite line into annoying.
It might just be a sign that you need to stop if you think about the last few times you talked to someone and you realize you’ve been a little too enthusiastic when complimenting them. If everything is superlative, nothing is truly great: the words lose their meaning, and the next time you use them, even if you truly believe the situation or person is amazing, you may come across as phony.
You’d better stop doing this now before you have someone roll their eyes at you.
#5 You never speak out because you don’t want to interrupt
There are so many people out there who don’t know how to listen that if you possess this quality, you are entitled to feel great about yourself. There aren’t enough good listeners out there, and we are sure that your friends and family love that about you. But, you should consider that NOT speaking up can also become a problem.
Specialists say that if you are too considerate of others and only listen, this is a mistake that can cost you more than you can imagine. Everyone has the right to speak, but if you only listen and don’t share what you think as well, you’re losing a valuable opportunity to not only say what’s on your mind and potentially help the other person, but you also lose the chance to show your personality.
Conversations are always a two-way street, and you should be as actively engaged in one as you are listening.
#6 Holding eye contact for too long
It’s always a sign you are polite if you maintain eye contact with the person you are talking to. It’s also a sign that you’re interested in what they have to say and that you are actually engaged in the conversation. However, there are people who end up taking this to the next level; holding eye contact for a long period of time may actually come off as rude.
Some people end up staring at the other person for so long that it can come off as aggressive, and it can end up making the person uncomfortable. Not only will this make people believe that something is wrong with you, but it can end up making them avoid you.
Licensed psychotherapists suggest that eye contact should always be genuine and say that people generally also look away from time to time. This should come very naturally to you, but if you are not sure if that is the case, you can always trust a close friend to tell you after you have a longer conversation with them.
#7 Letting others choose all the time
You may think that deferring to other people is a sign that you’re a good friend and that you’re interested in what they want. Yet, if you avoid making decisions at all times, it can put you at a disadvantage with other people and can influence people’s opinions of you.
In a business setting, if you don’t take initiative, then people will believe that you’re not reliable, and if you’re dealing with higher-ups, they want to see you are engaged, and this means having to take some decisions or getting involved in the process of making one. In your personal life, if you always let others choose, then when you do want something, you can find yourself being ignored.
You have to make some decisions yourself, so you don’t end up having people walking over you or not taking you seriously.
#8 Oversharing is a problem of yours? Don’t give one-word answers either!
If you feel like you always end up saying more than you should, you should be careful that you don’t fall on the other side of the line either. You could end up not sharing enough! It’s indeed a sign of politeness that you don’t end up sharing more than you should after being asked a question, but if you only give one-word answers, then you will not leave any impression on the other person.
You can end up seeming boring or unopinionated if you don’t fully participate in a conversation. That’s if you aren’t coming off as excessively curt and dismissive. Just saying “yes” and “no” when someone’s trying to hold a conversation with you will not make people keen on talking to you again. This doesn’t mean you should say too much either, but a few explanations are always welcome.
Especially if you’re talking over text. When not in person, people cannot gauge your body language or expressions, and you can end up offending someone without intending to.
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