5. “Smile, sweetheart.” or “Hey, doll.”
Using diminutive or overly familiar pet names like “honey,” “sweetie,” “love,” or “doll” is deeply disrespectful. It’s condescending and often sexist, reducing a trained safety professional to a stereotype. Flight attendants are on the aircraft to perform a critical job that requires authority and respect. Language that undermines that authority is not just rude; it’s counterproductive to a safe and orderly environment.
Similarly, commanding someone to smile is inappropriate in any professional setting. Flight attendants, like anyone, may be focused, dealing with a demanding schedule, crossing time zones, or handling a behind-the-scenes issue you’re unaware of. Their job is to be professional and courteous, not to perform emotional labor for your personal comfort. For many crew members, especially women, these types of comments are a constant and wearying part of the job.
There is a power dynamic at play, and such comments are a misplaced attempt to assert dominance. The subtext is, “Your emotional state should be geared toward pleasing me.” This is an unreasonable expectation for anyone, let alone an aviation professional responsible for hundreds of lives.
The correct way to address a flight attendant is with simple, universal respect. “Excuse me,” “Sir,” or “Ma’am” are always appropriate. If they are wearing a nametag, using their name is also a great option. For example, “Excuse me, Sarah, may I have a glass of water when you have a moment?” This is polite, professional, and far more likely to get you the positive interaction you’re looking for. Basic courtesy is a cornerstone of how to get better service on a plane.
