Types of People Who Don’t Belong in Walmart

2. Stoners

The 24-hour Walmart is the Earth Mother’s greatest gift to the rural stoner, second only to cannabis, of course. While urban stoners are limited to bodegas and overpriced pizza, Walmart supercenters supply everything a stoner in the sticks could ever want.

Your local Walmart is a toker’s paradise, with everything from double-stuffed, chocolate-covered Oreos to a dozen distinct types of Doritos. Even better, Walmart has areas of worthless junk that rotate through every month for the unlucky stoner to squander their money on.

We haven’t seen the numbers, but we’re prepared to wager that a sizable portion of merchandise at Walmart is wholly and purposefully geared toward stoners.