Types of People Who Don’t Belong in Walmart

5. Shoplifting Teen

For as long as there have been Walmarts, there have been idle youths wreaking havoc. It never fails to astonish us.

With each new class of delinquent middle-schoolers comes a fresh group of long-haired adolescents in hoodies attempting to slip out through the automated doors undetected, toting sunglasses, DVDs, and a slew of other stuff they don’t actually need. You’d think that juvenile offenders would have matured by now.

Unlike true criminals, who develop more complex theft techniques over time, teenagers will continue to use the stuff-it-under-your-hoodie-and-run strategy until the end of time. This approach usually fails.

Unfortunately, the penalty shown above is rarely meted out to the perpetrators. Sure, this punishment may deter crime, but that isn’t why we like it. We just think the sandwich board with the thievery is amusing.

Our excursions to Walmart would be considerably more fun if we could watch dozens of depressed teenagers spending their weekend being humiliated for their misdeeds in public.